BROKEN BUT NOT CRUSHED – JESUS IS THE POTTER, I AM THE CLAY

Have you ever felt totally broken, so much that you knew that parts of you were shattered beyond repair? Have you ever asked the Lord , “Why did you throw me away?”

As I reflect back on May of 2016, those are the feelings I experienced as I called my family and told them my health was deteriorating and I needed their help. 

I had already had lots of testing and the doctors finally came to the conclusion, that they had no idea what the exact problem was, however they knew that I had a major issue and what they told me was “ You are going to have to learn to live with your situation”

The issue wasn’t learning to live with something, I needed to know what I was learning to live with.

During all of their testing , they discovered I had a small carcinoid tumor in my lung, and it was malignant , so they did a lobectomy and successfully removed it; the cancer was gone. My doctor gave me the awesome results, he also stated “ This has nothing to do with your shortness of breath, so we did not fix that issue.”

I was finding myself in a situation where with just a few steps, I was out of breath even with wearing oxygen. I continued to work , however each day my symptoms grew worse until I just decided I had to get some help from some different doctors .

My family came to Florida to help me pack and move me back to San Diego, California and I had already made an appointment with a specialist at UCSD.  The hard part was the unknown, being so sick that I could not do hardly anything for myself.  I was walking away from my home, my job, and had no idea what the future held for me, but I had realized if I was going to die soon, I needed to spend time with my family that I had missed so much.  They were such a blessing to me as they began to pack the rest of my household and endure the trip from Florida to San Diego with all those oxygen tanks.

We arrived in San Diego on May 25, 2016, and I was admitted to UCSD hospital on May 26, 2016 for pneumonia. This was not what was causing all of the issues, however it certainly did not help anything at that time, God always knows how to open doors that we have problems opening on our own. I now had access to a team of doctors who would not quit until they had a diagnosis.

My new journey had started,  and I had no idea where it would lead me. I was desperate to find some answers to my problem and I was truly desperate to find out why I wasn’t important to God .  

I realized the testing could take a while and I knew that I had to spend time with God to understand what was happening. In my heart, I knew that God does not throw anyone away. I needed to figure out what was making me feel that way. I was now ready to delve in and figure some things out. I knew my joy was gone, and I needed answers and I knew where to find the answers. I picked up my Bible and began searching.

SURRENDER TO THE POTTER’S HANDS

Psalms 34:18 NIV

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

James 4:7 NIV

“Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come.”

Psalm 9:10 NIV

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

As I began to read the Word of God and was reminded of how much God loved me, I realized I was allowing the enemy to fill my head and my heart with lies and fear. I knew it was important to re-connect with Jesus and allow Him to fill my heart with what I needed.

• I started reading God’s Word daily
• I began to listen to God’s Word to hear His truth
• I started listening to Worship music daily and at night when I slept.
• I started listening to Christian podcasts.
• I started praying and communicating with Jesus on a daily basis.
• I surrendered all of my life once again to the LORD, giving Him all of the broken pieces of my life.

I realized I had been so independent that I thought I could fix things myself, and I had been trying so hard, I simply left Jesus out of the situations. He wants to be involved in every single part of our lives.

I also discovered that when I spent time in God’s presence, I was no longer afraid as I realized how broken I really was. I was beginning to feel peace even with my brokenness.

Ephesians 3:14-20 NLT

“When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.  Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

I had faced the fact that I was physically, emotionally , and spiritually broken, however I also knew that my awesome Heavenly Father was the one who could help me and I was willing to fully surrender everything to Him.

It was almost a year later when I received the diagnosis of what was causing my issues, it was Congenital Muscular Dystrophy, Collagen, Bethlem type myopathy; Chronic respiratory failure with hypoxia and hypercapnia, due to myopathy; and Restrictive lung disease.

Knowing what the diagnosis was did not change my symptoms, however having made peace with Jesus gave me the strength to accept it and still realize it wasn’t the end of the world. I knew I would have challenges to face, however I realized I would not be alone as I knew the Lord would be with me through it all and He truly has been.

My walking is very limited , so I have a power chair that enables me to go places, even cruising outside. I have a non-invasive ventilator that I use for naps and during the night. I have mouthpiece ventilation for my power chair to use for the daytime. I continue to stay busy , I can still cook some, and do lots of scrapbooking, and enjoy making jewelry. I never lack for anything to do.

I am so thankful for the many blessings God has given me. He has given me a family that is extremely supportive and I have 2 homes to live. I give God all the Praise and Glory for every breath that I take. He has given me so much joy in my life.

When we are living in a shattered season, it’s so helpful to trust God’s timing and His ways. God’s plan is always better than our plan because He knows what our future holds

” This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD; ” Go down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the LORD came to me, ” He said, ” Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the LORD, Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.”

Isaiah 64:8 NIV

“Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

Clay is a brittle, easily broken substance and that’s what we are. God has a purpose in molding us the way He wants. God uses our weaknesses to display His power and love. Clay might be cracked in a few places making it unusable in the world’s eyes, but God sees these weaknesses to pour out and reveal more of Himself in us.

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- thought your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

• God looks beyond our brokenness and sees endless possibilities for our lives; when we have surrendered all, then we are clay that is ready to be shaped and molded the way God wants.
• We become a blank canvas for His masterpiece.
• We become a blank page for Him to compose our story.

When we are living in a shattered season, it’s so helpful to trust God’s timing and His ways. God’s plan is always better than our plan because He knows what the future holds.

Adelaide A. Pollard, was the lady who wrote the old hymn “Have Thine Own Way, Lord.”

This hymn was inspired IN 1902 by a simple prayer of the elderly woman at a prayer meeting. It was based on the scriptures, Jeremiah 18:3-6 (KJV).

The lyrics to that old hymn are as follows;

Have Thine own way Lord

Have Thine own way

Thou art the potter, I am the clay

Mold me and make me after Thy will

While I am waiting, yielded and still

Have Thine own way Lord

Have Thine own way

Search me and try me Master today

Whiter than snow Lord, wash me just now

As in Thy presence humbly I bow.

Have Thine own way Lord

Have Thine own way

Hold over my being absolute sway

Filled with Thy spirit till all can see

Christ only always living in me.

God’s hands can reshape our broken dreams and our broken lives.

Clay is a brittle, easily broken substance and that’s what we are. God has a purpose in molding us the way He wants. God uses our weaknesses to display His power and love.  Clay might be cracked in a few places making it unusable in the world’s eyes, but God sees these weaknesses and He uses the cracks to pour out His love and reveal more of Himself in us.

1 Peter 1:6-7 NLT

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- thought your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

• God looks beyond our brokenness and sees endless possibilities for our lives; when we have surrendered all, then we are clay that is ready to be shaped and molded the way God wants.
• We become a blank canvas for His masterpiece.
• We become a blank page for Him to compose our story

GOD USES BROKEN THINGS

• Broken crayons can still color beautiful pictures
• Broken crayons can be melted to make candles
• Broken clouds pour out rain to give us water
• Broken soil produces fields ready to plant
• Broken crops yield seeds
• Broken seeds give life to new plants
• Broken grain can be used to make bread
• Broken bread can give us strength
• Broken alabaster bottle of perfume was used to anoint the head and feet of Jesus

• Broken Peter, who denied knowing Jesus 3 times surrendered to Jesus and returned to an even greater power than ever
• Broken lives, broken hearts, broken bodies, broken relationships, broken spirits and broken homes can be healed and put back together by Jesus Christ.
• It took the broken body of Jesus on the cross to set us free from death, hell, and the grave.

Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane in order to prepare for His journey to the cross.

Luke 22:43-46 NIV

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel appeared to Him and strengthened Him. And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. When He rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. ” Why are you sleeping?” He asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”

• Jesus spent time in the Garden of Gethsemane praying

He was preparing for His journey to the cross.

Luke 22:42-43 NIV

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him.” And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” When He rose from prayer and went back the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow.” Why are you sleeping?” He asked them.” “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”

• Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss before the Roman soldiers arrested Jesus.
• Jesus underwent several trials and multiple beatings, including whips made of leather straps leather. He was then made to walk carrying His own cross until He could no longer stand up, then He had help from Simon of Cyrene.
• Jesus was crucified on the cross so that we could have eternal life.

Luke 22: 33-34 ESV

“And when they cam o the place that called The Skull, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on His right and one on His left. And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide His garments.”

Jesus walked the journey of brokenness for you and for me. He was willing to die for us so that we could have eternal life through Him. He understands how it feels to be broken.

Jeremiah 31:3 NIV

” The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ” I have loved you with and everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

John 3:16-17 NIV

“For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”

Matthew 28: 5-8 NIV

“The angel said to the women,“ Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He has risen, just as He said. Come and see the place where He lay. Then go quickly and tell His disciples; ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee, there you will see Him’ Now I have told you.” So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell His disciples.

Praise the LORD ! ” HE IS RISEN “At the resurrection, Jesus kept His word as the sinless Son of God, He was the atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Accept that gift. Ask Him to forgive your sins and failures and become your Lord and God.

The empty tomb is God’s great declaration in history that He indeed cannot be stopped.

” THE RESURRECTION GIVES MY LIFE MEANING AND DIRECTION AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO START OVER NO MATTER WHAT MY CIRCUMSTANCES MAY BE.”